Our History
In late 1984, Maureen F. and Lorraine H. were roommates sharing a house on Fort Myers Beach. Women's meetings had recently been established on Fort Myers Beach and Fort Myers. Maureen and Lorraine were both members of the Tuesday Sea Gals of Serenity group in Fort Myers Beach and Lorraine often went to WISE woman's meeting in Fort Myers. After their long days, they would often sit on the steps of their house and talk their day and about their sobriety. Lorraine had less than a year and was still living in a lot of fear and chaos. She would tell Maureen all the crazy dilemmas she had faced during the day, and after listening for a while Maureen would often say “Well, it would be interesting to see what God has planned…”
One evening Maureen said, “Wouldn’t it be great to have a Woman's Day?” Lorraine asked, “What would that be?” and Maureen described a day long get together, kind of a mini convention, an event that would give women a chance to socialize, hear some inspiring speakers, celebrate our sobriety. Maureen had gotten sober in Rochester NY and had been involved in AA Conventions there; she thought it would be good for the women in the area to get involved doing something like that.
Maureen’s Experience
Maureen used to talk about an experience that had been important to her. A friend asked Maureen to escort a woman to an extended stay treatment center in Rochester, MN. When they arrived, they were greeted by two women, one of them who welcomed each woman with a hug. The treatment center was a beautiful large, well-kept elegant mansion that had been donated by a recovering alcoholic woman. Maureen was invited to stay for lunch and the dining room had beautiful place settings, with cut glass and real china and silver. Seeing her expression, the women who had invited her in said, “We want every alcoholic woman who walks through these doors to be treated with the dignity and respect she so richly deserves.”
To that point, Maureen had not been fellowshipping much with women as she did not feel like she really fit in. Shortly afterward (after taking the woman to Minnesota) she moved to Fort Myers Beach where Ellen P was the first woman she met, who became her sponsor. Maureen was touched by, and grateful for the way she had been treated by the women in Minnesota, and the welcome she felt from the women on Fort Myers Beach – these experiences gave her a feeling of being accepted and respected for the first time in her life. Her mission in starting Woman's Day grew out of that gratitude and her desire to pass it on.
“So that idea of coming out of the lives we lead as women alcoholics, that misery and desperation and shame, to become women who deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, was the vision we had as we started to dream about having a Woman's Day. Maureen wanted to hold it in February because she and Ellen both celebrate their anniversaries in February.”
The First Women’s Day
Early on it was decided to establish a partnership between the Fort Myers and Fort Myers Beach women's groups – that this would be a way to get everyone on board. If the chair and the co-chair represented each of those communities, it would be more likely that women from both would be involved. They did not have a mission statement or structural format because no one realized it was going to succeed and turn into an annual event. The goal was simply to make it affordable so that anyone who was interested could attend and to include a luncheon.
The first Women’s Day was held at the YANA clubhouse in Fort Myers. They did not sell tickets, so they had no idea as to how many women would attend, but there was seating for 147. It turned out that every seat was taken with women standing and sitting on the floor.
One classic story about the first Women’s Day is the one about the conflict of whether or not they would serve dip with the raw vegetables. “The pro-dip crowd would say “that we have to have dip.” The anti-dip faction would say “it was too messy, people would be standing around the dip bowls dripping,” and it was voted down. Then at the next meeting someone would bring it up: “We could have little paper cups for the dip. Raw vegetables are just too dry.” The anti-dip crowd would argue, “it will take forever! It is too much trouble! Let them eat plain vegetables!” and we will bring it up for a vote again, and the group conscience would be “no-dip.” Lorraine was strongly in favor of having dip, and this was one of her first experiences having to accept a group conscious decision when it did not go her way. Lorraine remembers threatening to bring dip anyway, but someone talked her out of it, on the principle of something having to do with acceptance.”
Service
Maureen asked Lorraine to chair the publicity committee that first year. Lorraine felt it was too big a role for her. She still thought of herself as a person who never stuck with anything and could not be counted on or trusted with any responsibility. This became another important piece, the idea of Woman's Day as an opportunity for getting women into service. Women, who like Lorraine, who may not feel very capable, are included and given responsibility for planning and pulling off a big event.
In reminiscing, Maureen, Diana and Lorraine all had “the same recollection of how important it was to us to get people involved – to give as many women as possible the opportunity to work together, to be part of something exciting and fun; this is the service in AA as well. No matter how small the task, it gives someone a chance to be part of, to take responsibility and gain confidence. Often, it is easier to show up at a social event if we have a reason for being there – and then, having a good time is the benefit of saying “yes” and doing the next right thing. It helped us all learn the lesson that you can do anything, or at least give it a good try – all it takes is for a couple of people to get together, talk about it, support each other, and take some action.”
- This is an abridged version of the history of the first Women's Day.
